I have a bruise

"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion)
06/17/2020 at 21:54 • Filed to: None

I know this sounds like a normal thing that people get when they bump into things, but I basically don’t bruise. I slammed my leg into my boat at about 10mph the other day and had what you might call a “wicked charlie horse” in that my leg was very sore, but I had no visible bruise.

My wife on the other hand, will get a bruise from clipping the corner of the bed on her way by randomly, however gently it might happen.

However, today, I got a bruise.

I was riding bikes with my kids, and I like to mess around on my bike because otherwise it’s a little boring to be honest. I’m always trying to challenge myself on the bike, so I do a lot of wheelies or manuals while riding with them.

Well I have new pedals AND new shoes, and they’re still a little tight to clip and unclip - mind you I had just adjusted them to be looser - and sure enough, I brought my front wheel up a little hard, couldn’t get my feet out, and went up and over backwards right onto the pavement on my back . My hip, I guess, hit the ground first - lower back, but definitely the hip bone. Then my elbow, and my head - thankfully, I was wearing my helmet because my head hit pretty hard yet it did not hurt and I feel fine now. Aside from the bruise. My elbow is a bit bloodied up but basically fine.

My lower back has a swollen spot right over the bone that struck the pavement, probably the diameter of a tennis ball but not all sticking out like that - it’s just an idea of the curve’s radius. It might be 1/2" swollen out above the normal skin surface? And it’s black and blue. It hurts a lot.

It’s just ironic, that, objectively, I take some pretty big risks on my bike with the way I ride. I go 25mph in the woods at night downhill with trees just inches away, and over rocks and whatnot where falling would be quite bad, and over jumps where I’m dropping 6-8 feet maybe, or covering a 15' gap. And when do I get hurt? Dicking around on my road at 2mph with my kids. Because of course.

At least I was wearing a helmet, no joke. Could be worse.

DISCUSSION (23)

Chariotoflove > functionoverfashion
06/17/2020 at 22:18

Glad nothing is broken at least. And that you were wearing your helmet.

SmugAardvark > functionoverfashion
06/17/2020 at 22:22

My wife on the other hand, will get a bruise from clipping the corner of the bed on her way by randomly, however gently it might happen.

Wow, so this really is “a thing.”

Mine somewhat regularly has a bruise on the same area of her leg, and she says she walks into the corner of the bed at least once a week.

facw > functionoverfashion
06/17/2020 at 22:22

That sucks. I’m definitely the easy bruising type.

You probably should replace that helmet too, since it’s been in a crash.

functionoverfashion > Chariotoflove
06/17/2020 at 22:23

I’m 39 and feeling like the universe owes me at least a broken bone, for all the risks I take. So I’ll take this as a warning, thank you. And yes, to the helmet. I can’t say I wear it every single time I go chase my kids around the yard, but I am sure glad I did to go down the road a little today.

functionoverfashion > SmugAardvark
06/17/2020 at 22:25

Ha! Yup, she sidles out of bed groggy and clips it on her way to the bathroom or whatever. Often.

functionoverfashion > facw
06/17/2020 at 22:25

I was looking for an excuse to buy a new one..... but also yes. It looks fine, but I will intensify my search.

Cash Rewards > functionoverfashion
06/17/2020 at 22:32

Me and my wife are exactly the same. Can’t think of the last visible bruise, she always has some but no idea what she bumped into to get them.

Glad you are wearing a helmet!

Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo > functionoverfashion
06/17/2020 at 22:41

That sucks. Glad that was the worst of it.

If it makes you feel any better I fell off a step ladder into my computer this weekend. One of those low speed falls where you’re like “I got this I got this I don’t got this.” Hit my hip on the corner of the desk and my head on the corner of a monitor. The former made for a nasty bruise, the latter still hurts almost 5 days later.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > functionoverfashion
06/17/2020 at 22:41

My wife walks into the corner of the bed so much I have started turning the light in for her.

facw > SmugAardvark
06/17/2020 at 23:08

This is a thing I do sometimes. Also presumably hitting other things beside the bed since I have mysterious bruises on my thighs sometimes.

OPPOsaurus WRX > functionoverfashion
06/17/2020 at 23:09

That is exactly why I don’t wear clip- ins. My buddy had one and had a few hard drops because his shoe was stuck or just not enough time.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > functionoverfashion
06/17/2020 at 23:23

Yeah sometimes you hit it just right

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > functionoverfashion
06/17/2020 at 23:25

I rode my arse down the dodgy stairs in our house about 4 months ago. The tennis ball sized lump on my left hip only finally dissapated in the last week...and it was both tender and itchy for weeks.

facw > OPPOsaurus WRX
06/17/2020 at 23:34

I love clipless pedals for road cycling (I use SPD on all my bikes/shoes for consistency and ease of walking instead of bothering with SPD-SL or similar ) . I imagine it could be trickier for mountain biking, but really I keep mine at low tension, and it’s super easy to click out. I’ve never had an issue doing it in a panic.

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > functionoverfashion
06/17/2020 at 23:37

i should wear a helmet when i go brush my teeth at night....

daughter had a shower before and she left a boobytrap in the shower.... near empty bottle of shampoo on a wet floor.... turns out they work better than banana peels in cartoons

Kinja'd!!!

yep....thats pretty much exactly what happened.....spose i should be happy i didnt crack me head on anything...... my tail is dead tho...

VincentMalamute-Kim > OPPOsaurus WRX
06/17/2020 at 23:48

The advice is to practice clipping in and out 100 times with the bike held steady. Or just go out and ride and fall a few times. I did the latter.

I tried mountain biking with the clipless and fell too many times. So flat pedals for mtn biking.

TheRealBicycleBuck > SmugAardvark
06/18/2020 at 00:08

My wife has broken her pinky toe at least three times by hitting it on random things. She can’t let a month go by without hitting one toe or the other. My daughter had her first toe catastrophe a couple of weeks ago. She hit it hard enough to lost the toenail.

Go figure.

TheRealBicycleBuck > functionoverfashion
06/18/2020 at 00:10

I broke my collar bone while goofing off in the parking lot before a ride. My buddies were kind enough to help me load my bike onto the roof rack, but I had to drive myself to the clinic. It was my right collar bone and I was driving a Subaru with a five speed. That was not a fun trip.

SmugAardvark > TheRealBicycleBuck
06/18/2020 at 00:15

Every time that happens at my house, I feel obligated to be a smart ass and ask, “Do you need a toe truck?”

Nom De Plume > Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo
06/18/2020 at 00:43

Concussions are no laughing matter. I may be railing against your decisions in one matter or another , but I do hope you’ll listen when I say take every opportunity to just lie down and close your eyes with no distractions.

REST, a lot. Destress.

Nom De Plume > SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media
06/18/2020 at 00:44

The profile pic is just too much. Glad your neck and shoulders are fine at least.

functionoverfashion > OPPOsaurus WRX
06/18/2020 at 07:02

I’ve used them for years and on day 1 I just rode laps around my yard clipping in and out, then never had a problem after. I’ve ridden with these, too, and been fine . I think the new pedals and shoes must have a slightly different release angle, my muscle memory isn’t working in a panic moment . I am going to adjust them to be even looser now.

functionoverfashion > TheRealBicycleBuck
06/18/2020 at 10:05

Haha I thought driving to the hospital with a (not quite) broken right thumb was bad - also a manual - but yeah, you win haha